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[Magicheart]

Moonpaw found himself feeling even more exposed as Cursedangel thanked him, though he wasn't sure why. His fear glittered in his eyes as he met hers, and simultaneously he wanted to run away and stay here forever. I'm afraid of having something to lose. he realized simply, ashamed of his own fear. But I know what I'm afraid of, so I can face it. He thought, courage rising up in him. He glanced back at Cursedangel with a more confident look and turned back to the horizon.

"This is my home now. I am going to become a warrior of Skyclan!" Moonpaw cried out, his voice echoing off the rock walls. Maybe if I keep telling myself that, I'll believe it. Moonpaw thought, feeling more peaceful within himself. She probably thinks I'm crazy.

Moonpaw dared to steal a glance at the older she-cat once again, humor dancing in his eyes for the first time in a long, long time.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel's face was as stony as it always was. The only difference was difficult to see, and was mostly visible in her chilly grey eyes. They sparked with a new life, a defiance that was so much more potent than the despair she had grown used to in the past moons. Moonpaw's excitement seemed to reignite a feeling in Cursedangel's heart, like a burnt out candle being coaxed back to life. Cursedangel looked at Moonpaw closely as he spoke of becoming a warrior for SkyClan. She studied his face, with his confident eyes and determined attitude. Then a small, hesitant smile formed on the she-cat's face, cracking almost physically across the stony mask she had worn for so long.

"That sounds like a noble pursuit. I have no doubt you will succeed." She meowed, shocked by her own honesty. Doubt was one thing that had been constant in her life, from her birth to the first days in SkyClan. But now, Cursedangel felt assured for the first time she could remember. She thought that maybe she could share Moonpaw's aspiration and become a loyal, hard-working warrior. Maybe there's some hope for me? Cursedangel thought hopefully.

[Magicheart]

"I hope so." Moonpaw sighed. "Songstar changed my mentor, and I don't know why. Mine has disappeared. I hope it wasn't because of me." Moonpaw's ears drooped, and for the first time in front of one of his clanmates he revealed himself as the young, insecure cat he really was. "I tried really hard to do my best. I didn't mean to be mean to him." he meowed miserably.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel thought about that problem. Her own mentor had been scared of her, mostly because of her stony facade. But she had never minded, and Lilithnight had taught her what she needed to know - either that or she had observed it on her own. With a slight dip of her head Cursedangel made a dissenting noise in her throat that felt scratchy.

"If your mentor has disappeared it's more likely a problem with him than you. And any mentor worth their salt would have put up with any attitude you gave them." She said with an utter frankness in her voice that was somewhat comical matched with her positively serious expression. She frowned suddenly, realizing that she had started sounding like her old self for a moment - the cat that had been bossy and nosy and loud and a bit sarcastic sometimes. She realized at that moment that she had forgotten that old self. She realized more importantly, perhaps, that she had honestly missed that side of herself.

[Magicheart]

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Moonpaw mumbled. "I liked him though. He understood the wind. It seemed like it chased him around. Whenever we went hunting around the higher points of the canyon I could convince myself I was back home when I'd see the wind whipping through his fur." Moonpaw sighed and struggled for words. "He seemed....a little less like a Skyclan cat and a little more like a tribe cat....and that made staying here a bit more bearable." the young tom meowed bluntly.

That's what you get for looking up to someone. Moonpaw thought to himself angrily. He fixed his deep blue eyes on the she-cat again and suddenly couldn't remember why he was mad. You're being a jerk again! he scolded himself.

"I didn't mean that being in Skyclan's so bad!" he blurted out awkwardly, trying to recover for what he said and failing miserably. He let out a hiss of irritation at himself. "I guess you can see why I thought he left because of me and not for himself." he meowed in a self-accusing tone.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel wondered what the mountains were like. She wished she could see them. They must have been a wonderful home if Moonpaw missed them so much. Cursedangel had never known anything so concrete as "home" before, so just being in SkyClan was a strange and new experience. But seeing the way Moonpaw fretted over the loss of his mountains, she realized that she would miss SkyClan's open-sky territory. It was a nice feeling, to experience the warmth of a home for the first time. The sentiment made Cursedangel feel somehow complete, for the first time in so long. She looked at Moonpaw with new eyes. Eyes willing to see the world again. In a short time, she had gained a little hope. Cursedangel could look at the sky and see blue again instead of dismal grey. I wish I could thank him, she thought sadly, But all my words would do is confuse him.

"I see. It's hard to lose someone when they seem to connect you to something." She meowed, her voice a bit weighed down by emotions. But when she began to think of her little kits, the kits that had given her some reason for living when everything had seemed so dull, Cursedangel stopped herself. She took a calm breath and allowed her sternly set facial muscles to relax. It's time to forgive myself. She thought, imagining the cold stars and wondering if her kits would know of her decision. She wondered if they knew she was sorry, but that she wouldn't blame herself for their death anymore. She wondered if they would forgive her... I love you all. She thought, and not without a little touch of sadness. Goodbye.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw glanced at Cursedangel and noticed that she seemed to belong to this landscape somehow. She made it more beautiful, especially with the glow from the rising sun warming her pelt. He struggled to find the words in his mind so he could tell her so, but then noticed her eyes dull again. She seemed to be somewhere very far away from here. I wonder if she lost her home, too. he thought, beginning to feel a closeness to her. She's lost something important, I can tell.

"I want to show you something. Hang on...I'll be right back." Moonpaw meowed, bounding away. He leaped easily over a tall stone into an area sheltered by rocks. This was his secret place, where he went to think at night when he slipped out of camp. He reached his paw under a low rock shelf and scraped out an item. He picked it up delicately in his jaws and trotted back to Cursedangel. He padded slowly up to her right side and gently set down a small, faceted pebble. It was gray and glittered with white flecks of quarts in the sun.

"A piece of the mountains." he meowed, his deep blue eyes shimmering with pride. "It got stuck in my paw when the twolegs picked me up. I've kept it with me all this time. I was afraid someone else would find it if I left it in one of the caves back at camp, so I hid it here." he explained. "I used to be terrified of losing it. I'd come here almost every night to make sure it was still there. I thought if I lost it, my home would be gone to me forever, but I've realized now that this stone isn't the mountains. My home will always be a part of me, so as long as I don't lose myself, I shouldn't have to worry." he meowed with a hint of amusement.

"The problem is, I almost did." he sighed, the smile vanishing from his face. "Was it this hard for you to leave where you came from?" he asked, seeking the comfort of wisdom from an older cat.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel pricked her ears, showing one of the few emotions that came out in her stony face; curiosity. She nodded and watched as he darted away, the sun playing across his pale brown shoulders. While he was gone, she sat and instead of fretting over the past, she looked around her and appreciated the scenery - everything from the sky to the rocks, the trees, the sun bouncing off the cliff side of the ravine. She smiled to herself, wondering how she had not noticed them before. I was too caught up in the pain of my loss... Now, I think I can live again. When she heard Moonpaw coming back, her heart gave a little, unexpected leap. Cursedangel blinked, surprised by the feeling. She hadn't felt that way since...

Cursedangel turned and looked down at the little stone that Moonpaw had brought. She was mesmerized by its beauty. The way it shone in the sunlight was something she had never seen. She wondered if all the mountain shone like that little piece of it. How beautiful it must have been... 'The problem is I almost did...' Cursedangel's eyes flicked up to Moonpaw's face. She blinked in surprise. That's right, she thought, I forgot myself. I lost myself... Now I guess I have to find my way back. Moonpaw's question startled Cursedangel. She thought of how to answer him without making him sense the tragic nature of her past. She inclined her head slightly and sighed.

"My mother was a kittypet that hated my sister and I. As soon as we were old enough, she cast us out into the street. So we spent our lives wandering, until we found SkyClan. I can't say what it's like to leave a home, because I've never really had one. But I know what it's like to leave behind things you care about. And I'm only just starting to reconcile my feelings... I suppose in a way it's like... you have to leave your past behind. You can't ever go back there. But there's no use in living in that past, in constantly wanting it to return. You'll miss out on so much beauty that way." She meowed, voicing the things she was only just realizing. She looked at the ravine and wondered how she had gone from wanting to kill herself to feeling... alive for the first time in so long. She looked at Moonpaw and wondered if he would ever understand how much he had given her. I hope we can be friends. She thought. He is someone I could trust.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw loved the way that Cursedangel's eyes lit up as she gazed at the stone. Finally, someone understands. he thought, his heart fluttering with genuine happiness and hope, the first he felt since he arrived here. But, as Cursedangel glanced up at him with her stormy eyes, he thought his heart would stop completely. This was also the closest he'd been to a cat since he'd gotten here. He was almost afraid of the power in her eyes.

Moonpaw listened to Cursedangel talk about her past respectfully and thoughtfully. Her voice sounded so different from the accent he was used to in the mountains. He didn't like it so much on his other clanmates, but her voice was even different from theirs. More...beautiful. he thought. "I'm sorry your mother couldn't value you for the cat that you are. At least you had your sister to comfort you though, right?" he meowed inquisitively. He thought he had seen Cursedangel with another she-cat when he was out training, though he didn't see either of them often.

"I want you to have my stone." Moonpaw blurted out, gently placing a paw on top of it to push it toward her. "I think you would have felt at home in the tribe. Consider yourself and honorary member. Now, you can have a home too. Maybe, someday I can take you there, and then you can have real memories of it." The tom's azure blue eyes sparkled, but his heart ached with how much he really wanted to take her there, and how unlikely it was to happen. He nervously glanced away, afraid of showing too much emotion to her and afraid that he had been too forward.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel looked away.

"My mother had her reasons, I suppose. And Lilith and I... we had a fallout once. I think part of her will never understand what I went through in the moons we were separated." She meowed thoughtfully. Then she paused as Moonpaw pushed the rock towards her. Cursedangel's eyes widened, surprised by the tom's offering. She looked down at the stone, wondering if she should refuse. After all, wasn't it very important to him? But there was something in the gesture that touched her, and something strange happened. She felt her mouth twisting upwards, cracking into her stone expression, changing it. Looking up at Moonpaw, her throat feeling tight with emotion, the she-cat smiled a real, genuine smile for the first time in many moons.

"Thank you," she mewed, "I will treasure it." She said as she gently wrapped her paw around the sparkling rock.

[Magicheart]

"Hmm..." the apprentice meowed, listening. "The two of you will get over it eventually. Littermates usually do. It's easier with siblings, most of the time. I was always very protective of my sister. She resented it for a while, but I think after a time, she understood. The mountains in my home were a lot more hostile than the ones here." Moonpaw glanced up at the sky, half expecting to see one of the giant eagles or hawks that could kill a cat easily from his home.

He hardly dared breathe as Cursedangel stared at the stone. Moonpaw's eyes widened, and he let out an excited purr. "It is in good paws then. I have made a good choice." he meowed happily. Moonpaw let out a contented sigh and glanced at the rising sun. "Do we have to go back to camp?" he said in a somewhat resentful tone.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel looked at Moonpaw and frowned. Get over it? I suppose... She considered that thought. She had never been open with Lilithnight... Did her sister think she held her accountable for abandoning her? Or had she not forgiven her for interfering with her relationship? Cursedangel wished she knew what to think. But she had been ignoring her feelings for so long, she didn't know what to say anymore. Cursedangel glanced back at the tom beside her when he mentioned a sister. Did he leave a sister behind in the mountains, then? She wondered, a bit sad at the thought. At least she still had her sister. At least they were together again...

When Moonpaw talked about heading back, Cursedangel flicked her ear, as if a bit irritated at the thought, "We don't have to." She meowed a bit sullenly, "I'd rather stay here and talk with you." She said quite honestly. It was true; Cursedangel didn't know if she could open up to her Clanmates, but it was so easy to talk with Moonpaw. She felt he understood, and that made it easier to be honest. But there was another reason she didn't quite want to leave yet. She just wouldn't let herself admit it.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw's heart trilled as Cursedangel expressed to him that she preferred his company. "Sure, Me too. We can stay." he let his lips curl into a slight smile, revealing bright, pointy teeth. "I think it's safe to say that no one in camp will miss the cranky mountain apprentice." he meowed mischievously.

"Have you been in Skyclan a while?" the young tom asked curiously. He had been with Skyclan less than a quarter moon himself. "Do you like it here? Is there hope for me?" Moonpaw inquired, a slight jest to his voice.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel was glad that Moonpaw wanted to stay with her, too. It made her feel accepted, perhaps for the first time ever. Looking at the tom, she thought that she had made her first friend.

"I've been in SkyClan for three moons or so," Cursedangel meowed, reflecting on the time she had taken to even leave the alley where her kits had died, "And it's preferable to other lifestyles. Indeed, I like the lifestyle more than any other I have experienced. I'm sure if you lived in a group of cats before there could be no greater alternative." Cursedangel said thoughtfully, glancing at Moonpaw and wondering if he knew anything about her or her sister. Most cats in the Clan avoided Cursedangel, simply out of necessity. More cats were friendly with Lilith, since she was amiable, but the two sisters were known to give off a slightly distant feeling. He probably doesn't tune into gossip much, though. Cursedangel thought.

[Magicheart]

"Hmm..." Moonpaw nodded. "I'm glad to hear it." he meowed, glancing at the she-cat. He was still quite close to her after giving her his stone, but he found himself unable to move back. Still, he felt flushed when he looked up at her. Her eyes were beautiful, but intimidated him greatly. Moonpaw wasn't used to that.

"Things seem to happen much faster here." he concluded. "All the hunters go off on their own. Your apprentices start training two moons earlier than ours. Then again, a lot of the cats in this clan are bigger than tribe cats." he continued thoughtfully. He suppressed a shudder as he thought of one of the apprentices his age being carried off by an eagle. It was one of the worst experiences he'd ever had in his life. The other cats seemed to give him puzzled looks here for gazing up at the sky so often. I'm sure they have other threats here... he thought, wondering why many cats were hesitant to tell him about the past of Skyclan.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel wondered why the apprenticeship for the Tribe cats began so late. If they were smaller, did that mean their stamina was worse than that of the Clan cats? She couldn't really guess, and judging by the look in Moonpaw's eyes, she didn't want to ask.

"Yes, things do happen quickly, I suppose." She meowed. It had taken one moon to prove that she and her sister had the skill to become warriors. By that time, they had made up their minds to stay, anyways. Cursedangel had always been secretly happy about her name. She felt that it reflected another side of her, perhaps already gone, but at least it had existed. The kinder, gentler side. She wished it would come back, that she could feel trusting and happy again. Looking at Moonpaw, with his strong little body and daring eyes, she felt suddenly that those feelings might not be lost, after all.

"What sorts of customs did your Tribe have?" She asked curiously.

[Magicheart]

"Well, for one thing, we didn't have a leader and a medicine cat." he meowed, the way of the clan cats seeming to boggle his mind. "In our tribe we have The Teller of Pointed Stones, and that cat is our medicine cat and leader. Our ancestors tell Stoneteller when he or she needs to choose a successor." He paused for a moment, thoughtful. "I suppose it could be helpful having one or two cats just dedicated to healing...though many of our wounded don't ever make it back to the cave..." he meowed, trailing off.

Moonpaw's expression grew stony. "We have cats that guard our hunters while they are out chasing prey. There are giant birds that live in the mountains and kill my tribe." he meowed bluntly, his eyes narrowing. "You have a much different relationship with your prey when it can also be your predator. We've lost some good cats to the eagles." he meowed, his eyes clouding with unpleasant memories.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel wondered at the different traditions of the Tribe. It seemed like such a harsh environment. She really couldn't see why Moonpaw would want to go back to living in fear of the eagles that preyed around his home. But then, maybe he had grown used to it? Cursedangel looked at Moonpaw's face when he spoke of those lost to the sky predators. I don't think anyone could get used to that. She thought.

"What about names?" She asked, suddenly very curious, "Teller of the Pointed Stones is very long. Were all Tribe names like this?" She inquired.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw was jolted out of his thoughts by Cursedangel's question. He cast her an amused smile. "My name as you know it is a shortened version of my tribe name." he meowed. "My tribe name was Tears That Fall From the Moon. My tribe called me Moon for short. We are given our full names at birth. I think I like how you earn you own clan names based on your appearance or deeds." he paused.

"That's how it works, right? Except...well..." Moonpaw hesitated, embarrassed. "I don't think your name completely suites you though. Let's see...." the young tom thought for a moment. He thought of the turmoil in the she-cat's pretty gray eyes. "Since you are an honorary tribe cat, your tribe name will be Angel that Flies Above a Curse." Moonpaw stole a glance up at Cursedangel. "...because I believe you can." he whispered softly.

Moonpaw twitched his ears and gazed off again. "You seem to have a lot more choices here. We are chosen to be hunters or cave guards at birth as well. We don't get to do all the tasks like you do." he meowed abruptly, changing the subject from names.

[.:Lion:.]

Tears that Fall from the Moon... It was a lovely name. There was a somber sadness in it, almost as if Moonpaw's mother had foreseen his circumstances whens he had named him. But somehow Cursedangel thought there was hope there, too. She liked to think so. When he spoke of her name, she was not offended. It was not a very pretty name, she knew, but their leader had had little to work with. "Curse" had always been a part of her life. It was the "angel" that had come later, and part of it had made her happy at the time. But that small happiness was nothing to the feelings that she experienced when Moonpaw told her what he thought her tribe name would be. Angel that Flies Above a Curse. It was pretty. There was some meaning in it, too. She liked it. A small smile played at the corner of her mouth, a genuine and happy expression. When Moonpaw mentioned the hunters and fighters of his Clan, she blinked, tilting her head to one side.

"I suppose," Cursedangel meowed, "That it's because there are fewer dangers. Do you think so?" She mused, glancing at Moonpaw with that little pleased smile still lingering in her eyes.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw turned his gaze back on Cursedangel, but was taken aback by her smile. He didn't know much about the she-cat, but he didn't think she smiled much. He wasn't sure how making her smile made him feel. In fact, he found himself unable to speak as well.

"I...uh..." his gaze wandered as he tried to make sense of the tightness in his chest and the heat flooding through his fur. She's even more stunning when she smiles... he thought in desperation. Would she even be interested in him after today? He, just an apprentice when she was a warrior? Could he trust that they could become friends? ...more than friends? Moonpaw felt his stomach flip. Is that what I want? Could I compete with the other warriors in our clan for her attention?

The young tom had never found a she-cat appealing in that way. He had scoffed at the idea of having a mate and responsibility to another. He had always been independent. Snap out of it, stupid!

Moonpaw shook his head to find that he had never answered Cursedangel's question. How long had he been lost in his own thoughts? He opened his mouth to speak, but panic seized him when he realized he had forgotten the question. "I...I agree with what you think. After all, you're an honorary tribe cat, so you'd know." he meowed meekly, trying to cover for his odd behavior.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel tilted her head to one side, wondering why Moonpaw seemed so uncomfortable. Had she said something wrong? The moments of silence were a bit nerve-racking. Curse was worried that she had upset Moonpaw. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. He had given her hope again, for the first time in so long. It was thanks to him that she could move on, and part of her wanted to thank him for it, and another part wanted to keep him beside her forever. She had experienced a similar feeling once, when she had fancied herself in love with a tom named Rook. But she had not forgotten her sister's experience, and had been conscious to keep her distance with him. It had been wise, perhaps. But Cursedangel did not want to stay away from Moonpaw. She wanted to talk to him, to be beside him, to touch him, maybe... Curse blinked a few times, trying to clear her thoughts. Moonpaw spoke again, and by his answer she wondered if he'd even heard her question. Her smile faded just a little, but her eyes remained soft.

"I see," she mewed. She looked at him for a long time, wondering why she felt like telling him everything. Would he stay beside her if he knew? She looked down at her paws, not liking the guesswork she had to do.

"One thing that I like about the Clan," Cursedangel murmured softly, "Is that they believe in something after death. For me, that was the one thing that kept me moving. A hope that they're out there, happy. Alive, in a sense." She meowed, coming as close as she ever had to talking of her kits. Cursedangel looked up into the sky and her sadness softened. Moonpaw had taught her to look forward in life, so she would. But she wouldn't forget them. No. That wouldn't happen.

[Magicheart]

Moonpaw felt incredibly guilty as Cursedangel stared at him. She didn't deserve his odd behavior, especially when she didn't know why he was acting the way he was. If only he had the courage to tell her it was for a good reason! He felt really lame when she meowed "I see".

The young tom felt her gaze burning into him and felt a different flare of panic. She must know! It's like her eyes are looking right though me! he thought, miserable and excited at the same time. He was about to open his mouth to apologize when her quiet voice broke the silence.

He felt his heart sink at her words. Who was "they?" Moonpaw was quiet and thoughtful for a moment. Her parents? Not likely her siblings, she has a sister here... He fixed Cursedangel with his deep blue eyes, full of sympathy. But she's so young...could she have been a mother? He glanced away again, a torrent of emotions flooding over him-- jealousy, loss, and sadness. He glanced up at the sky. Starclan.

"You're lucky. I'm afraid that is one comfort I won't have. My ancestors, family, and tribemates...they run in different skies." The young tom closed his eyes and sighed out some of the pain in his heart. He hadn't ever thought of dying outside of the mountains...never thought of not being with his tribe and ancestors in the afterlife. He couldn't definitively say it, but in his heart he knew it was true. When his tribe had gatherings, the other clan ancestors weren't there.

Moonpaw laid his tail on Cursedangel's to comfort her. He felt just as sad as she did.

[.:Lion:.]

Cursedangel felt horrible about making Moonpaw feel so sad. She hadn't meant to say something that would remind him of his loss. She tilted her head to one side, thinking.

"But the skies are all connected, aren't they?" She asked quietly, "All cats that have gone before us wander them. Maybe you will see your friends and family, who's to say?" She meowed, trying to encourage him. She hesitated, wondering why Moonpaw's gaze was making her feel uneasy. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, really, she was just nervous to be the object of his scrutiny. She wondered if he'd guessed at the "they" she had been referring to. I'll probably tell him one day... She thought, surprised by the idea. Cursedangel had never imagined telling any cat about her experiences - not even her sister. But she wanted to tell Moonpaw. And she had a feeling that the time would come, some day.

[Magicheart]

"I don't know. I guess I would be afraid to hope for it. I have heard that Skyclan's ancestors used to be in another place. I wonder if they followed us here? But then...after living a life with Skyclan, would I want to go back to the tribe in death?" he wondered aloud. Would I want to leave you?

"I don't think my tribe always lived in the mountains either. Stoneteller seems to get angry when things go wrong in the mountains for us, as if they used to be better somewhere else. None of the other cats were old enough to remember though...or if they were, they don't say anything about it."

Moonpaw gave a small smile as he looked at Cursedangel. "I can tell you for certain that there is a life beyond this one though. Some of our ancestors would give Stoneteller warnings about things before they would happen...or about visitors that would come from the clans to the mountains. Maybe...whoever you lost will come to you in dreams someday. I have heard of Tribe of Endless Hunting or Starclan cats visiting warriors in their dreams occasionally." He meowed, hoping to bring Cursedangel comfort.