Welcome to the End (poem)

[bhuvana]

Old pictures on my wall,
tear 'em down, watch 'em fall.
The sound of the tape tearing,
it's what I have been fearing.

Tears stream down my face,
I can't keep up in this race.
It often crosses my mind;
death, the irreversable fine.

Why'd you do it?
Let her rule you through it?
You're your own being,
but instead, she's your queen.

If I controlled the future and past,
I'd go back in time real fast.
The day she asked "Do you want to go?"
I'd stop and quickly shake my head no.

When I met you, I wish I had walked away,
because life has been Hell since that day.
Like a reverse storm, the rainbows came first,
but then the winds blew, and the clouds burst.

Why'd you do it?
Let her rule you through it?
You're your own being,
but instead, she's your queen.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not worth your time.
With that said, you sure as Hell aren't worth mine.
So I'm doing what I should've done that day,
I'm turning, and I'm walking away

I joined a church and I thought my life had become perfect. My pastor and I were the best of friends and everyone seemed to love me. For once, I felt as if I actually belonged somewhere, was wanted. But after a bit over half a year of joy, my pastor's wife spoke her paranoia. She believed I was going to steal her 46 year old husband (mind you, I am 17 years old). Instead of the pastor being honest and saying we were innocent, he submissed to his wife with fear. He tells me he wishes he never got married, so that he could be friends with whoever he wanted, but he won't tell his wife to back off. So, that is where this poem came from, a broken heart that barely beats in my chest.
But I wrote that MONTHS ago...I switched to a different church and have started new. My heart has began to heal, and the wounds still present have stitches in them to speed up the process. I am happy again, which I felt I would never say again when I was writing "Welcome to the End". So I ask everyone is tolerant if I have either a fit of anger or sorrow. The best reaction is to simply ignore me.....but I have had my life under control for some time now, so I don't see any outburst occuring =]

[.:Lion:.]

Very heartfelt, Bhuvana. All around a very interesting poem. I can see your rhyme scheme was supposed to be an aabb type of thing but it strayed a couple times, though you did it artistically so it didn't annoy me as much as it normally would (and that takes skill, girl). I'm sorry to hear about that happening in your church. I'm glad you have a new place to go and worship Thank you very much for sharing your poetry with us. I enjoyed it very much

[loneh]

*bows* I admire you. Love people with poetic talent and literature sensibility; enjoyed your poem. I can see how it relates to your experience...
...I question though..how close is that man to God. And just a personal opinion. Church is often a place to find support, yet religion and church, they are of men, imperfect. Seeking support in God and not the people...I believe brings more comfort.
And as you conclude in your poem, that man wasn't worth it. I even doubt he is a man of God.
Heh..how am I to speak anyway, neither am I...but I dislike people who hurt others. Going back to your poem, it was what it strongly conveyed.
Keep writing your work is amazing <3